


Hold on to your heart (is this all you've got to break my fall)

by theellibu



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: 2x15, Angst, Coda, Episode Related, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, ~feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-08
Updated: 2012-02-08
Packaged: 2017-10-30 19:37:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/335335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theellibu/pseuds/theellibu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve's heart breaks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold on to your heart (is this all you've got to break my fall)

**Author's Note:**

> Coda fic for 2x15. 
> 
> The title is a line from ‘I’ll be your emergency’ by Brigade.

Steve feels his stomach drop and his heart skip a beat when they find the pictures of Danny's family on the laptop.

For a second, it feels like he can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t _anything_. 

And then he's calling Danny, and hearing the panic in Danny's voice when Chin says that Grace is missing, panic, loud and clear, even over the phone, it brings him back to the reality, gets him focused on the task at hand; a thousand things already going through his head to get this mess sorted as Danny hangs up on him to speak to Rachel.

There's only one thought on his mind at that moment: they have to get Grace back. She may be Danny's daughter, but everything they have been through, Grace means the world to Steve, too. Truth be told, she probably had him wrapped around her little finger from the first time they met.

**

Steve's heart feels like it's beating out of sync as the day goes on, as time passes without any word from Danny. 

He feels sick to his stomach when HPD tell them that they found Danny's gun and cell abandoned, and the feeling only gets worse when they learn that the man behind the kidnapping is Danny's ex-partner, when they find out that Danny's the one who put him in prison, when they figure out that this is all about _revenge_.

Steve feels his heart yearn for Danny as he directs the rest of his team, wishing he was with Danny now, wishing he had gone with Danny earlier to check out that mailbox lead. If he had gone with Danny, they wouldn't be in this mess right now. All of this could have been prevented.

They're _partners_ , in more than one way, and it's killing Steve that he's not with Danny right now.

**

Steve’s heart feels like it's going to explode when him and Chin chase after Danny thanks to the GPS tracker in his car, beating faster and faster, tick tock, tick tock; they're running out of time, Steve can feel it.

And then Kono calls, and Steve's heart crumbles and cracks as they listen to the voicemail that Danny left Rachel a few months ago. It's like a punch to the gut, he can't breathe, and his heart aches. Hearing Danny say those words to Rachel, and Steve knows that Danny meant _every single word_ at the time, and hearing those words now, even though it's an old message, it's a blow, and Steve has to fight hard to stay focused. He's pretty sure everything that he's feeling is right there, on his face, for the whole world to see, and one glance at Chin tells him exactly that.

But he's got to focus, he can't let this get to him now, the stakes are too high. He's got to be focused on the task at hand - he's a Navy SEAL for Heaven's sake, he was trained for high pressure situations like this - he's got to concentrate on getting Grace back, and he _is_ ; he tells himself that it’s an old message, things have changed, repeats it like a mantra in his head. Things have been so _good_ between him and Danny, he can't let this get to him now, but at the same time, he can’t help himself.

What if.

Same old question.

He runs a hand over his face, mentally shakes himself. He can't do this now. There are more important things to do.

**

Steve's heart almost stops as he runs towards Danny at Alo Moana Park, desperately calling out for him as he watches in horror how Danny shoots Stan.

He only feels a tiny part of the tension leave his body when he gets close to Danny and realises that Stan is still alive. 

Steve can only stare at his partner when Danny turns towards him, grabs him by his tac vest as he look back at Steve. He's almost in a daze as Danny tells him that he only shot Stan in the shoulder once, that the other two shots went in the grass; Steve's heart feels like it's never going to start beating again when he catches the look of despair and anguish on Danny's face before Danny races off towards his car to deal with his ex-partner, and Steve ignores the way his whole body is screaming at him to reach out for Danny properly, to hold onto him for dear life and never let go again.

Instead he drops down next to Stan, Stan who just took a bullet for Gracie, and isn't that something? 

**

Steve’s heart breaks as he watches Danny, Rachel and Grace. His heart breaks, and shatters, and falls to pieces as he watches Danny with his family, and even he can't deny that they look _right_ together.

He thinks back to the voicemail and wonders where he fits in all of this.

_I just want you to be happy, Danny._

It seems like a lifetime ago since he said those words to Danny, but that's really all he ever wanted for Danny, all he still wants for Danny.

Steve doesn't know whether it makes him incredibly selfless, or incredibly stupid, that he would give up his relationship with Danny, sacrifice his _own_ happiness just to give Danny the chance to be truly happy with someone else.

He fights for everything that is good and right every day, he has been fighting for years, but this, Steve thinks, is a fight that's out of his hands. And maybe that makes him a coward.

**

Steve's heart clenches as he hears the Camaro pull up to his house later that night.

He went home by himself, declining offers from Chin and Kono to maybe grab a drink, just wanting to be on his own for a while, try to wrap his head around a few things. He didn't think he'd see Danny again today, he had wanted to give Danny some much needed time with Grace, and after everything that happened, Steve didn't want to intrude; he thought it would be best to give Danny some space.

"Didn't expect to see you again today," Steve says as Danny walks in, taking a sip from his beer. He can't quite bring himself to look at Danny, choosing instead to focus on the football game he _hasn't_ been watching for the past hour.

"Well, yeah, maybe _I_ wanted to see _you_ ," Danny replies as he sits down next to Steve on the couch, taking the beer from him and taking a big gulp himself. Steve can feel Danny's eyes on him. "You okay, babe?"

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that question?" Steve says with a soft snort, shaking his head lightly. He sees Danny shrug in the corner of his eye, his eyes still focused intensely on Steve. "How's Gracie? Is she gonna be all right? I mean, of course she is, she is a smart, strong girl. She's gonna be fine. Didn't think you'd let her out of your sight again tonight, though. That's why I left, earlier, wanted to give you some space. And I didn't want to disturb you guys." 

"Steve." Steve knows he's rambling, but he can't help it. He also knows that Danny can read him like a book.

"I heard the voicemail that you left Rachel." Steve knows he doesn’t have to say more than that when he hears Danny sigh, and then one of his hands is on Steve's arm, squeezing gently.

Steve's chest feels too tight, his heart taking up the _fast, frantic rhythm_ from earlier, and surely it's going to burst any second now.

"Steve, babe." Danny moves his hand to the back of Steve's neck, squeezing gently again. "Steven."

Danny's using his grip on Steve's neck to pull him closer, and Steve considers putting up a fight for a second when he realises that he's already, unconsciously, leaning into Danny. He's never been able to resist Danny.

Danny stops when their foreheads are resting against each other.

"Listen to me, you goof," Danny says, voice is calm, caught somewhere between slightly exasperated and extremely fond. "That voicemail is over four months old, it means absolutely _nothing_ now, so whatever is going on in that thick head of yours? Stop it. I know what you're like, Steve. I bet you've been going over this in your head again and again and again, and if I hadn't shown up, that's how you would've spent the rest of the night, too. _Stop it_. Is that what your face was all about earlier? How I'd be so much better off with Rachel, and not you?"

Steve knows he doesn't manage to keep the guilty look off his face when Danny curses under his breath, closing his eyes briefly. Steve's heart is still beating wildly in his chest as he waits for Danny to continue.

"Seriously, Steve, how many times do I have to tell you this?" Danny wonders. Steve swallows hard as Danny stops to take a breath, his eyes boring into Steve's. "It's all you, babe. I don't want to be with Rachel; I don't deny that there was a point last year when I thought that's what I wanted, I was desperate to have my family back - and just to remind you again, you're my family too - but me and Rachel? That's over."

Steve can feel his heart beating in his throat now, feels like he's going to choke at all the emotions he sees in Danny's eyes.

"It's all you, babe. It's all you." Danny says again, fingers stroking along the nape of Steve's neck, his other hand moving to rest over Steve's heart.

Everything stops as they just look at each other for a couple of seconds, but then Steve is surging forward as he's flooded with relief, closing the gap between them, pressing his lips to Danny's in a desperate kiss. It's _I'm sorry_ and _I'm an idiot_ and _I love you_ all in one, and Danny answers it with equal passion.

When they pull apart after a couple of minutes, Steve feels his heart slow down for the first time since this morning, smiling as he lifts one hand to Danny's heart, feeling it beat strong and steady against his hand, grounding him.


End file.
